Beloved.

           

              This past week I had the chance to attend the National Youth Workers Convention in San Diego. I don’t know about you, but as a Youth Leader this is one of my most favorite times of the year. It’s like Christmas! As an attendee you are surrounded by thousands of youth ministry veterans, leaders, mentors and encouragers. This is an opportunity that as a senior in college I cling to tightly. The word that kept coming up all week was “beloved”. Beloved means: dearly loved, one greatly loved, and adored. Along with that, many of the seminars I attended had something to do with love. Bob Goff, the author of Love Does, talked about what it means to love and how to be fearless with your love. When I attended Amy William’s seminar she talked about how a young woman should be treated. “A young girls daddy should be her first date. He should take her to get her hair and nails done. He should take her out in a limo, so she knows how prized, worthy and important she truly is in the eyes of her earthly father.” The seminar that struck me in the face was one from Debra Hirsch, The author of Redeeming Sex. Debra in the middle of her talk says, “If you never get married, is God still enough?” As I sat there I became struck with emotion and my thoughts went spiraling out of control. As I looked over my friend knew what I was thinking, she said, “I knew that would hit you.” Is God still enough? ABSOLUTELY. DUH. Do I want to get married? YES. DUH. Does God have the ultimate plan? YES.

            Even as a young child I remember planning my wedding with my best friend. From the wedding colors, to where it would be, to the type of dress I would wear, to who my possible future husband would be. Things that over time have changed but the thought process stays the same. From Pinterest, to wedding websites like theknot.com, to my binge watching of Say Yes to the Dress, to the many wedding magazines, planning your wedding is easier now more than ever. From cheesy Disney movies, to 27 Dresses, to the Princess Diaries, to Nicholas Sparks movies. God’s love story is the best love story of them all because it involves YOU. You see… I went into the National Youth Workers Convention convicted. I was weary, teary, stressed and in a sense I was lonely. It had been a year since my latest relationship had ended. I had hit the point where I was sick of being the third wheel, it seemed like everyone and their siblings were getting engaged and I was tired of feeling as though I was not worthy enough for love and affection. Was it my weight? My acne? The gap between my teeth? Or the fact that I no longer had that soccer player’s body? Why was I not dateable? Then the word “beloved” popped up everywhere I went. Beloved… a word that I did not fully understand until that week. It was a reminder that I was greatly loved by the one true King. I was greatly loved by the man who holds my future in His hands and who has the PERFECT man set out for me. A reminder that I am loved no matter what pant size I wear, or the number on the scale, or the big ‘ole zits on my face, I was loved by the one who created me. I realized now more than ever that I am God’s pottery and I am His handiwork. I am treasured, I am LOVED, and I am flawless in His eyes. He created me PERFECT.  Love, was talked about everywhere at the National Youth Workers Convention and I truly believe it was God saying, “EMILY! Enough. I’ve got you. Breathe. YOU ARE ENOUGH.”  I became overwhelmingly thankful that I could fully grasp the Lord’s love, knowing that He has the best plan for my life. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I realized that I needed to change my focus. I needed to direct my focus on investing in the friendships/relationships around me and to do so in a Christ-like way.  I needed to stop focusing and stressing on what I looked like on the outside, but instead I needed to have a heart check and understand my motives. What it came down to was an identity issue.

            When many people think about being a “Godly” woman in a relationship, they head straight into Proverbs 31. While accurate, I believe Proverbs 31 is basically just a set of standards and regulations. Reading Proverbs 31 can be so overwhelming. A proverbs 31 woman is meant to be perfection. As human beings we are not capable of being perfection. We are completely inadequate for the job. BUT With Christ in us it allows us to be attainable.  Basically what I learned is that it comes down to: our relationship with others reflects our relationship with Christ.

            Being a proverbs 31 woman to me means standing firm in the love of our father Jesus Christ. Trusting that he will enable you to become the woman you are set out to be. To not fear your past, instead embrace it, learn from it and allow others in so they can see the transformation work that The Lord does. It definitely is not going to be easy but by surrendering to the Lord and allowing him to take over your life He will guide and protect you. I am absolutely confident in that, I’ve seen it happen.  God has called us into relationships with one another but if God is not at the center of it, it probably isn’t the healthiest relationship. And by probably, trust me, it isn’t the healthiest relationship. Whether it’s a friendship or a relationship, relationship.  If you are ever caught in that situation we, as women need to put our big girl heels on and sprint the heck out of there!

            God has prepared your heart your whole entire life for the one who you are going to marry. Sounds cheesy and cliché, but as a twenty-one year old single woman this is something that I cling onto daily. He has prepared your heart for someone who will acknowledge your strengths, acknowledge your passions, and acknowledge your desires and feed them. God set a fire in your heart for a purpose and a plan, because HE WANTS TO USE YOU. He has someone planned for you who will pour gasoline onto that fire instead of water it out.  While I was in my latest relationship I became who man called me to be, instead of whom God called me to be. As women we need a man whose heart beats for you, a man who pursues you.

             If you have been abused or are stuck in a relationship that is not God honoring. Please do not feel like you are stuck or are “dirty” or that God does not love you. Please know that you are worth SO much more than the lies Satan is feeding you. Those chains that are holding you back from your unique gifts and talents, God will set you free. You are worth so much that GOD SENT JESUS DOWN ON THE CROSS FOR YOU. Once you trust in him he has given you a new life, it will not be easy BUT YOU ARE NOT ALONE. God’s hands of Grace, security and confidence will wrap around you, and through that you can receive the confidence of being True to whom God made you. Reach out and let people in who want to help you.    

            Look at the women God used in the Bible, Esther, Martha, Ruth, and Mary. Each of them was inadequate for the job they were set out for. They had broken relationships, friendships, and lives in general. Each woman was by no means a Proverbs 31 woman and God used them to change the world. Throw away the idea of being a Proverbs 31 woman. Let’s face it, we all have baggage, we all have regrets, we all are imperfect. BUT we ALL have that same strength and that same power as the women who God used. So keep your head up, Keep that smile on your face and walk confidently knowing that the Lord is holding your hand and guiding your every steps! God wants to use YOU. Not the person that society is trying to shape you into but the you He created you to be. Are you willing to be obedient? Embrace your talents, embrace your gifts and embrace God. He is ENOUGH. He’s got you.

India.

              Let me start off by saying, I would be lying to you if I said that this trip went all according to my plan. Let me try to explain myself. If it told you that I wasn't scared of boarding a plane, traveling halfway across the world, with a girl I had just met that day, to a country I had never been to, to meet people I had never officially met... I'd be lying. Was it easy? Absolutely not. BUT at the age of 17 at a Dare 2 Share conference I went "All-In". "All-In" in this instance meaning every opportunity that God put in front of me, I would be a part of. He has a plan and a purpose for your life, are you willing to be obedient? Some are easy decisions, others are more difficult. At the beginning of this trip, I was questioning why God was sending ME. A quiet girl who doesn't speak a lick of Hindi OR barely passed the Hindu section in her Worldviews class. More selfishly, I didn't care for Indian food (before the trip).  Why me God?
               Before the trip I was already encountering weird spiritual warfare stuff, from family arguments to getting extremely sick the day before I left, it was definitely clear that Satan did not want me going. BUT I shook it off and trusted that God was going to work in and through me.
 When we got off the plane my adrenaline and excitement kicked in, I was ready! We landed late at night so my first experience of India was: car horns, humidity, lots of people, crowded streets, instant sweat, tons of  trash, a distinct scent and did I mention LOTS OF PEOPLE? The next day everything hit me. I saw the real, raw India. I instantly was hit with a wall of emotion, something that hit so powerfully it took my breath away. Yes, I've been on mission trips before and traveled across the world by the grace of God, but this, this was something completely different. Kenya, Puerto Rico and many European countries have Christian influence, which allows for hope. India... India has no Christian influence. No hope.
          Did you know there are more than 35 million orphans in India alone. Did you know that because Hindu is the main religion they do not do anything for these children, because they believe that these children must have done something to "deserve" this life in their past life. Did you know that Hindu's worship rats and other animals. There is a rat temple with millions and billions of rats that people go to, to worship and drink the same milk as THE RATS? Did you know there are more young girl, not women, young girl prostitutes in India than the entire female population in America? Did you know in Alwar, Rajesthan there are more prostitutes than Christians? Did you know that in Alwar alone there are over 19 prostitution villages? Did you know any of this? I thought I had prepared myself well enough but... I did not. There is darkness all over this country. A darkness that is only understood if you see it for yourself. Watching as children are forced to beg and if they don't make their "quota" they'll be drugged and beaten. FEELING little hands grab my arms, begging. Looking into their eyes and praying over them. Watching people as they walk around Zombie-fied.
             At Shiloh, where I stayed, there were 2 Hindu temples and a Muslin mosque literally on the other side of our fence. You could say that Satan was at work. The spiritual warfare was present. The first week of the trip, I couldn't stop crying. For a girl who only cries in private, I was a blabbering mess. It was embarrassing. Literally feeling like Satan was laughing at me. What happened to that strong girl who was ready to take on the World? What happened to her strength, her passion and her desire to help others? I felt like I was in a giant depression. I was miserable. I had told my mom that, “I probably shouldn't be here because there is nothing I can do. I'm just a 21 year old girl from Arvada, Colorado who just needs to get out.” Words not from my inner self but from all the warfare surrounding me. Why am I telling you this? Just wait! People would call and pray over me, they would text me prayers and message me on Facebook. Then my uncle called. He said "Emily, I will do what is best for you." I then proceeded to tell him that there is so much hurt and so many helpless/hopeless people here, I'm not qualified”. He then proceeded to say, "Emily, as Christians we all have a light within us. Sure, you need to shine where there are other lights, but even though you do not feel qualified, YOU have a light. Even in a sea of darkness, they will be able to see your light shining, whether it's bright or dim." He prayed over me and I began to weep, literally weep, not cry, weep. I spent the next few hours digging deep into His word and in prayer. Something I should have done longgggg before but I had been falling into the trap Satan was trying to set up.
                That night that depression was gone and God gave me a new lens to look through, to look through His lens. I was listening to Hillsong's song Relentless. "You're love is relentless." Relentless. Never gives up. Everlasting.  He didn't send me to feel helpless, he sent me to be Relentless. He sent me because I was capable. I'm not capable on my own like I was unintentionally trying to do, but I am capable when I hand it all over to Him and he becomes the pilot and I become the passenger. From those moments forwarded God changed my heart. He gave me a whole new perspective. He changed the way I would react. Sure my heart was still wrecked, but he was holding my hand protecting and directing my heart. I had a feeling this trip would impact my life, but I did not realize how much. God broke my heart for what breaks His. "Wake up and look around Emily!"
             By showing people the love of God, it creates room for friendships, relationships and meaningful/intentional conversations. It allows for orphaned boys to know that they matter (No Longer Orphans does an incredible job at this). That they are loved. That they have a purpose. That even though their society is telling them otherwise, they are perfectly placed on the earth for a beautiful, thought out purpose and reason. Because of forced arranged marriages and prostitution all over the city, sometimes love is viewed as a negative thing. But Gods love changes lives. It heals wounds. It stitches scars. It allows you to break free from the chains that are holding you back from the best you, you can be. Through much prayer God proved to me that I was there to simply love.
             Indians are not affectionate people... In fact in the beginning I would hug the boys and it would be like hugging a metal pole, they didn't really know how to hug back, or at least feel comfortable hugging me. "Alright God, HELP ME." I then decided high-fives were a good leeway. They would be a good starter for positive love. To let them know that "I see you and I care about YOU!" Let me tell you, high-fives with 40 boys gets intense! The more comfortable they are around you the more the high-fives hurt, but I took that as progress and I was absolutely positively okay with that. I gave so many high-fives that I almost gave a man a high-five at a restaurant when he said "Namaste!" and raised his hand. How embarrassing would that have been….
             After high-fives, high-fives instantly became handshakes. All sorts of handshakes. All different ones that they were teaching me. We would make them up or make the ones they knew more intense. You would never feel alone walking through Shiloh with all the handshakes going around. It became the thing at the children's home. It was my favorite. The day I left, the boys swarmed me with hugs. HUGS. All of them. I cried. The power of God’s love is incredible. I left my heart in a place I did not think I would leave it. In a place that in the beginning I just wanted out. I left my heart in a place where I felt I was not needed or equipped enough to be. I left my heart in India. In a country filled with darkness, filled depression and a country with no hope. I learned about God's love in India, what I thought I already knew became that much more intimate. Learning, seeing, and being God's love in a way I had never experienced. I am forever grateful and humbled for this experience. My heart will forever be in a place I least expected. That is why the trip did not go according to my plan, instead I believe it went according to HIS plan.

Thankful. Humbled. Blessed.

              Throughout this Dare2Share conference season, I have had the privilege and opportunity of meeting some pretty awesome students and leaders. This weekend we had conference five minutes from my house. We were surrounded by students and leaders throughout our community, it was so humbling and exciting to watch and see God move. Our youth group students were there, my small group girls were there and my friends and family were there. It was awesome. When conference ended last night I had this young girl come up to me with tears in her eyes. As I listened my heart broke for her. I prayed over her and tried to offer a little bit of hope. Late last night I received this email from her...
 
"Hi Emily! Once again, thank you very much for telling your story today at Dare To Share. I cannot tell you how much it helped. Like I told you, I went through hip surgery in December after a three-month period of MRIs, doctors, and that whole process including crutches because I had both a stress fracture and labrum tear in the same hip. I have always identified myself of a runner. Loosing it was like loosing everything. I know that you can understand that times three. I have been really upset with God, and that anger is slowly eating away with my relationship with God and with others. My labrum tear was half structural and half my fault for overdoing the summer running. Today after the outreach session I was sitting and thinking that the weekend had been good but not what I expected. I had expected to find peace with God about all that has happened within the last few months. But, then the room went black and they shared the video of your testimony. I felt in that moment that someone else knew the extent for what I was going through. I have always known that God feels with me, but he has been so quiet recently. I have had friends that have suffered serious injuries but none of them have felt the same way that I have. Many times I have thought, "What’s the point to all this life anyway?" After they showed your testimony I knew that someone else had walked that same road. So, thank you very much for sharing."

I know I say this a lot, but I am so thankful to have met Heather. It takes a lot of strength and courage to be so open about what she is going through. 

“Heather! First off, you are the sweetest girl ever and I am so thankful to have met you this weekend. Thank you so much for being so open about what you have gone through. That in and of itself takes a lot of strength. Surgery and sports injuries are such a tough thing and when you are in the midst of it, it seems like your whole entire world is shattering. I feel like it is only healthy to be mad at God for putting you through this. “It’s not fair, why does this have to happen to me?” Just know that he is God and he will win, no matter how far you try to run and hide. Trust me, I have totally tried. As an injured athlete I know what it is like to feel alone, angered, frustrated and feel like there is absolutely no hope or end in sight. I know it is hard to see right now, but God has a beautiful plan for why you are going through what you are going through. He is going to use your story for His glory and impact the Kingdom. I know that when I was in high school and someone would tell me that, I would just roll my eyes at them. BUT it is so true. I could NOT have survived my depression if it was not for God. He is a totally rad guy who cares so deeply and desperately for you. He knew you before you were born and set you apart to use YOU. Please just keep your head up and continue to strive forward knowing that you are NEVER alone. God is by your side, holding your hand and guiding you every step of the way. The path may be a little rocky now, but it will be beautiful sooner or later. I would encourage you to start drawing a heart on your hand. I have my middle school girls do this each week. My heart resembles that no matter where I am in life, I am never alone. God is with me through the ups and the downs, the trials, the errors and the celebrations. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He is a God who cares so passionately about YOU. How cool is that. Heather. You are important. You are beautiful. You are valued. AND YOU ARE SO INCREDIBLY LOVED. I am praying for courage, strength and hope as you move forward. You are a beautiful girl inside and out and God has some pretty amazing plans for your life. Just buckle up and hang on for the adventurous ride ahead. You are going to do amazing things!”

Please join me in praying for Heather and the many other students I talked to this weekend and these past weekends. Pray that they feel Gods peace, comfort and encouragement as they continue to walk this journey that God has set for them. These students are not alone. Reach out, talk to them, encourage them, love them.  This weekend, like many weekends, I am thankful that God gave me a second chance. I am thankful for the incredible life altering work Dare2Share is doing. I am thankful for the obstacles and challenges I have had to overcome. I am thankful for the opportunities he has provided. I am thankful. I am humbled. I am blessed. 

“Whatever you do (whether soccer, swim team, school, cross country, band, choir, work, etc.) work at it with all your heart as if working for the Lord, not for man.”

–Colossians 3:23

Noteworthy.

             Many people have asked what the #Wearenoteworthy means. Here is a little bit of why I wanted to become a part and get involved in this ministry.  We are young women who want to make a positive impact in the lives of girls everywhere, helping girls find their identity through Christ's love for them. We have the cross before us and God beside us, leading us every step of the way. Who knows where this will go, but for now if we can impact one girl or many more, then it is all worth it!

As a youth leader, I'm tired.

• I'm tired of young women thinking they aren't good enough.
• I'm tired of young women thinking they aren't smart enough.
• I'm tired of young women thinking they are not skinny enough.
• I'm tired of young women thinking they are not pretty enough.
• I'm tired of young women thinking they not strong enough.
• I'm tired of young women thinking they do not have a voice.
• I'm tired of the eating disorders.
• I'm tired of the successful suicides and suicide attempts.
• I'm tired of the depression.
• I'm tired of the cutting.
• I'm tired of the drinking.
• I'm tired of the sex to find "Their worth".
• I'm tired of the secrets.
• I'm tired of the insecurities.
• I'm tired of the tears.
• I'm tired of their hurting.

 I'm tired.

            

             My heart breaks for these young women. Today they are faced with a culture where this is a norm. A culture where "Everyone struggles with something", so who cares?! You're just wanting attention, you won't really follow through... It's not that important. When in fact it is SO important. So important in fact that Jesus died to set all of your pains and struggles free. Satan has gotten into the heads of these young women using those around them to tell them who they are, telling them they will never be successful, telling them they no longer have a voice, telling them they are not worthy, when in fact they are completely NOTEWORTHY. 

Ladies:

You are beautiful, You are smart, You are kind, You are unique, You are special, You are precious. You are worth more than: the numbers on the scale, the Zits and the freckles on your face, the gaps between your teeth, the color of your skin, the color of your eyes, the color of your hair, the number on your Jersey, the percentage on your paper, the clothes that you wear, the car that you drive, and You are worth more than ANY LABEL. You are worth SO much more than the lies Satan is trying to engrave in your head. YOU ARE WORTH MORE.  Your worth SURPASSES any and all earthly treasures. You are worth SO MUCH that Jesus died for YOU.

            Look at the amazing women Jesus used in the Bible. Each woman had something against them. They each struggled with something, and I'm sure if you asked them they would tell you that they were inadequate for the job they were set for. Look at Esther (saved her people), Ruth (the loyal friend), Martha (fulfilled her duties), Mary (Jesus' mom), Rahab (the prostitute). Each of these women changed the world, forever! These women have the same power, the same strength and the same capability as you and I! Lets find that inner woman. Find her strength, her knowledge, her power and her capability and lets learn how to SET HER FREE. THIS IS WHO YOU ARE, THIS IS WHO WE ARE: WE ARE NOTEWORTHY WOMEN, WE ARE DAUGHTERS OF THE LIVING GOD. Noteworthy's goal is to help young women find their identity in Christ, not in any earthly belonging. Our goal is to empower young women, help them find their gifts and passions then teach them how to use their unique gifts and abilities to positively impact their family, their friends, their community, their world. We want to Challenge and Inspire young women to find their worth, identity, and hope fully in the love of their heavenly father. We will choose to believe that our value is not found in any earthly things- but in who our father calls us to be, Noteworthy women whose lives are marked by our reflection of His Grace. We believe by empowering the next generation to positively use their gifts while seeking the Lord, we can help positively impact our young women today.

Because you and me, WE ARE NOTEWORTHY. 

 #wearenoteworthy