Beloved.

           

              This past week I had the chance to attend the National Youth Workers Convention in San Diego. I don’t know about you, but as a Youth Leader this is one of my most favorite times of the year. It’s like Christmas! As an attendee you are surrounded by thousands of youth ministry veterans, leaders, mentors and encouragers. This is an opportunity that as a senior in college I cling to tightly. The word that kept coming up all week was “beloved”. Beloved means: dearly loved, one greatly loved, and adored. Along with that, many of the seminars I attended had something to do with love. Bob Goff, the author of Love Does, talked about what it means to love and how to be fearless with your love. When I attended Amy William’s seminar she talked about how a young woman should be treated. “A young girls daddy should be her first date. He should take her to get her hair and nails done. He should take her out in a limo, so she knows how prized, worthy and important she truly is in the eyes of her earthly father.” The seminar that struck me in the face was one from Debra Hirsch, The author of Redeeming Sex. Debra in the middle of her talk says, “If you never get married, is God still enough?” As I sat there I became struck with emotion and my thoughts went spiraling out of control. As I looked over my friend knew what I was thinking, she said, “I knew that would hit you.” Is God still enough? ABSOLUTELY. DUH. Do I want to get married? YES. DUH. Does God have the ultimate plan? YES.

            Even as a young child I remember planning my wedding with my best friend. From the wedding colors, to where it would be, to the type of dress I would wear, to who my possible future husband would be. Things that over time have changed but the thought process stays the same. From Pinterest, to wedding websites like theknot.com, to my binge watching of Say Yes to the Dress, to the many wedding magazines, planning your wedding is easier now more than ever. From cheesy Disney movies, to 27 Dresses, to the Princess Diaries, to Nicholas Sparks movies. God’s love story is the best love story of them all because it involves YOU. You see… I went into the National Youth Workers Convention convicted. I was weary, teary, stressed and in a sense I was lonely. It had been a year since my latest relationship had ended. I had hit the point where I was sick of being the third wheel, it seemed like everyone and their siblings were getting engaged and I was tired of feeling as though I was not worthy enough for love and affection. Was it my weight? My acne? The gap between my teeth? Or the fact that I no longer had that soccer player’s body? Why was I not dateable? Then the word “beloved” popped up everywhere I went. Beloved… a word that I did not fully understand until that week. It was a reminder that I was greatly loved by the one true King. I was greatly loved by the man who holds my future in His hands and who has the PERFECT man set out for me. A reminder that I am loved no matter what pant size I wear, or the number on the scale, or the big ‘ole zits on my face, I was loved by the one who created me. I realized now more than ever that I am God’s pottery and I am His handiwork. I am treasured, I am LOVED, and I am flawless in His eyes. He created me PERFECT.  Love, was talked about everywhere at the National Youth Workers Convention and I truly believe it was God saying, “EMILY! Enough. I’ve got you. Breathe. YOU ARE ENOUGH.”  I became overwhelmingly thankful that I could fully grasp the Lord’s love, knowing that He has the best plan for my life. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I realized that I needed to change my focus. I needed to direct my focus on investing in the friendships/relationships around me and to do so in a Christ-like way.  I needed to stop focusing and stressing on what I looked like on the outside, but instead I needed to have a heart check and understand my motives. What it came down to was an identity issue.

            When many people think about being a “Godly” woman in a relationship, they head straight into Proverbs 31. While accurate, I believe Proverbs 31 is basically just a set of standards and regulations. Reading Proverbs 31 can be so overwhelming. A proverbs 31 woman is meant to be perfection. As human beings we are not capable of being perfection. We are completely inadequate for the job. BUT With Christ in us it allows us to be attainable.  Basically what I learned is that it comes down to: our relationship with others reflects our relationship with Christ.

            Being a proverbs 31 woman to me means standing firm in the love of our father Jesus Christ. Trusting that he will enable you to become the woman you are set out to be. To not fear your past, instead embrace it, learn from it and allow others in so they can see the transformation work that The Lord does. It definitely is not going to be easy but by surrendering to the Lord and allowing him to take over your life He will guide and protect you. I am absolutely confident in that, I’ve seen it happen.  God has called us into relationships with one another but if God is not at the center of it, it probably isn’t the healthiest relationship. And by probably, trust me, it isn’t the healthiest relationship. Whether it’s a friendship or a relationship, relationship.  If you are ever caught in that situation we, as women need to put our big girl heels on and sprint the heck out of there!

            God has prepared your heart your whole entire life for the one who you are going to marry. Sounds cheesy and cliché, but as a twenty-one year old single woman this is something that I cling onto daily. He has prepared your heart for someone who will acknowledge your strengths, acknowledge your passions, and acknowledge your desires and feed them. God set a fire in your heart for a purpose and a plan, because HE WANTS TO USE YOU. He has someone planned for you who will pour gasoline onto that fire instead of water it out.  While I was in my latest relationship I became who man called me to be, instead of whom God called me to be. As women we need a man whose heart beats for you, a man who pursues you.

             If you have been abused or are stuck in a relationship that is not God honoring. Please do not feel like you are stuck or are “dirty” or that God does not love you. Please know that you are worth SO much more than the lies Satan is feeding you. Those chains that are holding you back from your unique gifts and talents, God will set you free. You are worth so much that GOD SENT JESUS DOWN ON THE CROSS FOR YOU. Once you trust in him he has given you a new life, it will not be easy BUT YOU ARE NOT ALONE. God’s hands of Grace, security and confidence will wrap around you, and through that you can receive the confidence of being True to whom God made you. Reach out and let people in who want to help you.    

            Look at the women God used in the Bible, Esther, Martha, Ruth, and Mary. Each of them was inadequate for the job they were set out for. They had broken relationships, friendships, and lives in general. Each woman was by no means a Proverbs 31 woman and God used them to change the world. Throw away the idea of being a Proverbs 31 woman. Let’s face it, we all have baggage, we all have regrets, we all are imperfect. BUT we ALL have that same strength and that same power as the women who God used. So keep your head up, Keep that smile on your face and walk confidently knowing that the Lord is holding your hand and guiding your every steps! God wants to use YOU. Not the person that society is trying to shape you into but the you He created you to be. Are you willing to be obedient? Embrace your talents, embrace your gifts and embrace God. He is ENOUGH. He’s got you.